Excellent-Top BlogPer medios ibit pueros mediasque puellas mentula, barbatis non nisi summa petet. -- Priapic Epigram

“Telephone”

Explicit version of “Telephone” in which Lady Gaga proves she doesn’t have a dick. Featuring People’s newly anointed Most Beautiful Woman Beyonce.

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“Black Hole Sun”

Happy 2012! It’s the end of the world!

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Pr0n: Jean-Claude Van Damme

From the Z-grade martial arts thriller Double Impact, a gratuitous shot of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s perfect ass while he’s doing the splits in tights that leave nothing to the imagination.

Feels like this scene was crafted by someone who was hiding deep in the closet. No other reason to shoot it from that angle. There’s something so very 1950s muscleman magazine about it.

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“Jaan Pehechaan Ho”

The Indian musical number from the movie Gumnaam — made famous by the opening credits from Ghost World.

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“Physical”

In which Olivia Newton-John finds out a girl can’t get laid if she tries to pick up guys at a bathhouse…

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ABBA New Year

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“Tapedeck In His Tractor”

In a post-Brokeback environment, this catchy Ronee Blakley song from Robert Altman‘s masterpiece, Nashville, seems a little bit gay.

“A cowboy’s secrets you never tell, [because] there’s nothin’ like the lovin’ of a hard-drivin’ cowboy man.”

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Not so fast, Tom Ryan!

It’s that time of year again. Time for the perennial resurrection of Liz Taylor’s White Diamonds commercial. Can you get this perfume at any other time of year? The ad was filmed 19 years ago (through 8 inches of gauze and a gallon of Vaseline) as part of a $20 million campaign for Elizabeth Arden products.

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Sly and the Family Stone medley

Pee-Wee Herman‘s big Sly and the Family Stone tribute, with Mr. and Mrs. Jelly Donut (Monica Ganas and Brian Seff). From the 1981 HBO special The Pee-Wee Herman Show.

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Jazzercise

Judi Sheppard Missett is every character Kristen Wiig ever played on Saturday Night Live.

The hottest TV on DVD from TLA!

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